Everyone talking about it openly is the only way to reduce shame and stigma and allows people to feel a bit normal that they are suffering is not unique but felt by many and is treatable.
Some key issues discussed were:
1) Shame and Stigma: Pretending to the world and especially pretending to self that you are ok. Feeling like an outcast because one feels that they are alone in their suffering. It can be further perpetuating the stigma one may even have towards oneself.
2) Support System: An Environment where self care or asking for help is not encouraged will subdue someone wanting to get help.
3) Social Anxiety and Shame: often when one is anxious or panicking or in a fight or flight mode there is a sense of shame and worry that the world can see you and is judging you. This further worsens the feeling of embarrassment and makes discussing of the issue harder.
4) Bereavement: not being allowed to grieve makes it harder to move on from the loss. Grieving is a completely normal and necessary part of life. Feeling sad and scared and guilty are very normal feelings after a major loss. Despite not having any control in the matter and knowing this well in our minds, there is often the feeling of guilt of not doing enough to prevent the loss.
Rarely the stress and sadness is so severe that one may feel like they want to die to end the pain or be with the person who they lost. Here they need to ask for help immediately.
5) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: Very often after a trauma people can relive the trauma and it can feel as real as it did when it first happened. This can be scary but
6) Ask a friend or your Primary care doc or a therapist or a Psychiatrist: Sometimes we can convince ourselves that our suffering is normal or has no solutions. In these situations maybe ask a friend what they think. Or if you see someone suffering ask if they are ok or need help. Dont hesitate- be that real friend who asks the tough questions and doesn’t hide when the going gets tough.
7) Self Care: Eating regularly, sleeping well, taking a break when not feeling well, exercise - these are as important as any treatment modality and actually works best when done together.
8) Journey of recovery: Whether managing ones mental illness or recovery from a substance use disorder, the journey is slow at times and takes time. There will be some steps taken back and some ahead and that’s normal.
9) Your team: As an adult you may have family and friends around but you have to let them in or invite them in. Building your support structure is key.
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